Away From The Numbers

VIEW FROM THE BAY #2 :   MAY 15TH 2007

- by The Undisputed

Bayview ParkPower Station ViewThe Enigma That Is The UndisputedSeason Tickets Not ValidThe Sun Sets On The Power StationBayview Stadium

For Sale: Job lot, 2000 East Fife 3rd Division Champions t-shirts in fetching black and gold colours. May be suitable for use in England. Free bottle of tippex supplied.

Yep, it's been a hard week for us all. But life goes on here at AFTN Towers, where we bring you No 2 in our new series, View From The Bay. Over to you, Mr Undisputed...


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I’m pretty sure I’d never heard mention of any player in the Championship in England by the name of Ray Darby. Also, I’m even more certain the Sky commentators haven’t taken to cursing during commentary or making comment on any player’s lack of cleanliness. So clearly, I must have misheard completely the other day when I was watching Sky and reckoned I heard the guy say, “It’s Wolves versus West Brom on Sunday so tune in to see the big black cunt, Ray Darby.” …Yeah, must have misheard?

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Speaking of Sky, they’re obviously very clever people, what with their interactive services, multiscreen games etc, but they’ve surely reached a new level of cleverness altogether if one regular contributor to this forum is to be believed. Explaining to me the virtues of SkyPlus the other day, he informed your impressed correspondent that you could “fast-forward the action when watching live games.” If that’s right, Wullie Gray’s bookie might be in for a hard year.

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There wasn’t much to smile about down New Bayview way on Saturday. The gut-wrenching disappointment of the early Queen’s Park goal, the frustration of East Fife’s inability to stage any sort of a fightback, and probably worst of all, Caroline’s singing over the tannoy. But one thing did bring a wry smile to my face. No matter how many new faces I saw packed into the Stadium at three o’clock, when I glanced around with 5 minutes to go, lo and behold, we were back to the usual 400 that we see every home match. Did I imagine the rest had ever been there?

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Well, we went into Saturday with at least a fair degree of hope and optimism - certainly we weren’t expecting to finish the day even less successful than Scooch. Ah well, drowning my sorrows on Saturday night, I at least had occasion to meet three girls. The first was from London, really into politics, says she gets it from her father. The second was from Inverness, really into hunting and fishing, says she gets it from her father. The third was from Cowden, really into sex…

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Saw Dave Baikie with Tony Blair’s speech-writer when I was out Saturday. Dunno what they were doing together but expect to hear the gaffer say this week that the 7-2 aggregate defeat is a springboard for winning the league next year.