Tick, tock, tick, tock… aaarghhhhhh! It’s the waiting, a burden seemingly exacerbated this time by us having our squad together early on, and the anticipation that this season might just be the one (though I’ve thought that before). As I write this however, there are ‘only’ 7 more sleeps till East Fife and Lothian Thistle take to the park, the ref blows the whistle, and the first steps on the road to the Championship are taken. Thank the Lord!

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The Copa America’s been on of course, if you ‘re a night owl, but it’s like one big pre-season up until Brazil play Argentina in the final. Not that these two are much better than the other teams but, when Brazil were struggling what happened? Along came a dodgy penalty. Then, when the Argies were toiling? Same thing.

I mean, Argentina? Aren’t they but a small country just off the Falkland Islands? Brazil do have their good points - they’re usually protruding from some sun-kissed babe stood on the terracing, scantily-clad in green and yellow, jiggling her hips to the samba rhythm. But, let’s face it, there’s other channels for that kind of thing at 2am.

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Not wishing to labour the point but there’s not even been any other sport to keep us entertained this Summer either, unless of course you include the white-water rafting from Sheffield High Street. Wimbledon’s been on, when it hasn’t been pissing down that is, but that’s all big lassie’s thighs and stuff and we don’t like that kind of thing, do we. Do we?

Anyway, it took Nadal five days to win one match which is the first time a sporting encounter has taken so long to reach an outcome since Terry Griffiths took on Cliff Thorburn in a one-frame challenge, ten reds only, with extra big pockets.

Sky don’t let the weather perturb them though. They must have shown 500 hours of footage last week of various blokes standing with various umbrellas on various flooded fields telling you that the cricket was postponed again, a message which it apparently takes about a quarter of an hour to get across. Granted, since it’s cricket we’re talking about, such coverage isn’t that far removed from when the fecking game is on.

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As East Fife put the dark days of the past behind them, and move into our bright new future, it struck me as a little bit ironic that the first pre-season friendly in what is sure to be our Championship-winning season (?) is to be played at, of all places, Saughton!

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Things have gone somewhat quiet on the Fanni front (story of my life). But don’t worry! When one door closes...

According to the P&J (a North-East of Scotland publication covering things that are important to folk in Aberdeenshire – sheep, grain prices, talking funny), Elgin City have received a takeover offer from some guy whose business is providing “actresses for the adult entertainment industry.” He probably knows that bloke The Rovers signed a few year’s back. Anyway, he hasn’t said why he chose Elgin City in particular, but maybe he found something vaguely familiar in their game plan which seems to consist of a long spell where it’s all mouth and no real action, then a wee fat guy with a moustache launching a long one from the back, followed by a lot of puffing and panting at the front, before finally a couple of tits end up in a right mess and the balls are cleared. Who knows?