Away From The Numbers


- by The Undisputed

Bayview ParkPower Station ViewThe Enigma That Is The UndisputedSeason Tickets Not ValidThe Sun Sets On The Power StationBayview Stadium

Tick, tock, tick, tockÖ aaarghhhhhh! Itís the waiting, a burden seemingly exacerbated this time by us having our squad together early on, and the anticipation that this season might just be the one (though Iíve thought that before). As I write this however, there are Ďonlyí 7 more sleeps till East Fife and Lothian Thistle take to the park, the ref blows the whistle, and the first steps on the road to the Championship are taken. Thank the Lord!


The Copa Americaís been on of course, if you Ďre a night owl, but itís like one big pre-season up until Brazil play Argentina in the final. Not that these two are much better than the other teams but, when Brazil were struggling what happened? Along came a dodgy penalty. Then, when the Argies were toiling? Same thing.

I mean, Argentina? Arenít they but a small country just off the Falkland Islands? Brazil do have their good points - theyíre usually protruding from some sun-kissed babe stood on the terracing, scantily-clad in green and yellow, jiggling her hips to the samba rhythm. But, letís face it, thereís other channels for that kind of thing at 2am.


Not wishing to labour the point but thereís not even been any other sport to keep us entertained this Summer either, unless of course you include the white-water rafting from Sheffield High Street. Wimbledonís been on, when it hasnít been pissing down that is, but thatís all big lassieís thighs and stuff and we donít like that kind of thing, do we. Do we?

Anyway, it took Nadal five days to win one match which is the first time a sporting encounter has taken so long to reach an outcome since Terry Griffiths took on Cliff Thorburn in a one-frame challenge, ten reds only, with extra big pockets.

Sky donít let the weather perturb them though. They must have shown 500 hours of footage last week of various blokes standing with various umbrellas on various flooded fields telling you that the cricket was postponed again, a message which it apparently takes about a quarter of an hour to get across. Granted, since itís cricket weíre talking about, such coverage isnít that far removed from when the fecking game is on.


As East Fife put the dark days of the past behind them, and move into our bright new future, it struck me as a little bit ironic that the first pre-season friendly in what is sure to be our Championship-winning season (?) is to be played at, of all places, Saughton!


Things have gone somewhat quiet on the Fanni front (story of my life). But donít worry! When one door closes...

According to the P&J (a North-East of Scotland publication covering things that are important to folk in Aberdeenshire Ė sheep, grain prices, talking funny), Elgin City have received a takeover offer from some guy whose business is providing ďactresses for the adult entertainment industry.Ē He probably knows that bloke The Rovers signed a few yearís back. Anyway, he hasnít said why he chose Elgin City in particular, but maybe he found something vaguely familiar in their game plan which seems to consist of a long spell where itís all mouth and no real action, then a wee fat guy with a moustache launching a long one from the back, followed by a lot of puffing and panting at the front, before finally a couple of tits end up in a right mess and the balls are cleared. Who knows?