Away From The Numbers

AFTN'S TOP TEN LISTS:
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT THE 2008/2009 SEASON ISN'T GOING TO BE YOUR TEAM'S YEAR (JUNE 2008)

Bayview ParkBayview StadiumEast Fife FC #1AFTN Flag38 Cup Winning Squad47 Cup Winning Squad

(10) They win the coin toss and do a lap of honour

(9) Just to be on the safe side, they're playing ten at the back

(8) Team beaten by local primary school kids in the half-time penalty competition

(7) During second-half, you notice players leaving early to beat the traffic

(6) Your top striker keeps losing possession with his frequent cigarette breaks

(5) Inner-ear condition makes it impossible for your right-back to stay between sidelines

(4) Your best midfielder get injured licking stamps

(3) One of last year's mascots is this year's goalkeeper

(2) Your new winger runs so damn fast against the rotation of the earth that he goes back in time to when they didn't even have football and the old-time locals gather around him, make fun of his shorts, then beat the shit out of him

(1) Your manager is John McGlynn



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