STIRLING ALBION FANS v B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S. (14/3/04)


It was a blustery Sunday morning in Stirling as the crowds gathered to see the East Fife supporters take on their Stirling counterparts. You could feel the tension, sense the excitement and smell the alcohol on the players' breaths from the night before. Both these teams were playing their second game together and both were looking to keep up their 100% record.

The 12 year old referee blew for the start of the game and the Allstars were attacking from the off. Many chances were presented and many squandered in the opening minutes before top scorer Lee cut in from the left to drill a 25 yard effort low into the bottom corner of the net. For the second game running the Allstars took an early lead.

The lead wasn't to last long, however, as Stirling surged forward. Their stunning mix of youth, inexperience, and luck proved too much for a haphazard Fife defence as they danced through the back line on two occasions to slot the ball home and take the lead. Allstars captain Fat Doug was seen screaming at the back line after the second goal, presumably because they were laughing at his rain soaked t-shirt clinging seductively to his well-formed breasts.

Half time: 2-1 Stirling


Team Manager Lonefifer took time out from working out how to explain to his wife why she was dragged to Stirling in the pissing rain for this, to give his half time team talk. A few changes were made to the side and the troops were rallied and once again, as in the previous game, his managerial skills were clear for all to see as Stirling raced quickly into a 4-1 lead.

Heads were down and morale was low and all of a sudden the hangovers seemed all the more severe. A change of the frontline brought some fight back into the team again however, not because of the particular players involved, but more because of the fresh(ish) legs and aggressive attitude brought to the fore.

The comeback seemed on as Lee scored his second of the game followed closely by Igor whose sublime finish silenced his harshest of critics, who claimed he was just a long haired nancy boy. Suddenly the team believed they could win again.

That belief was short lived, however, as once again defensive frailties and haphazard goalkeeping (Pete's own words) resulted in Stirling restoring a 2 goal lead to make it 5-3.

It was time for drastic measures. Doug was pushed upfront in search of goals leaving the team exposed at the back and for a moment it looked like it had worked. A well-won header by Ace sent Doug clean through and the subtlety of his finish defied his girth. Only one goal down and all to play for.

Unfortunately it wasn't to be. The final two goals of the game came from Stirling. With so many Allstars pushing forward, gaps appeared at the back. Stirling soon took a 6-4 lead and then in the dying seconds Fifer Hal and East Fife's misery was compounded when he sliced the ball into his own net (what a way to get on the score sheet).

The players deserve a lot of praise for never giving up the fight and for surviving the 90 minutes without throwing up but it was to be Stirlings day. They deserved their victory and keep up their 100% record.

Final score: Stirling 7 - 4 East Fife




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