





Want to join in the singing, but don't know the words or tune? Well now you'll have no excuse as AFTN brings you what will be our regularly updated songbook (written with a firmly placed tongue in cheek!). We may have lost a lot of our repertoire with the mass exoduses of recent seasons, but there's still a pile of old classics and young pretenders alike listed here for you, minus the obvious one "East Fife, Cha Cha Cha".
Just click on the individual song titles for the words or scroll through the whole thing. Do what you fancy, but please do sing!
(WE ALL DREAM OF) A TEAM OF JOHNNY SMARTS
YOU ALL LIVE ON THE SHITE SIDE OF FIFE
AWAY IN A MANGER
(traditional arrangement!)
Away in a manger
BAGGY TROUSERS - 07/08 REMIX
McCulloch or Scotty Fox
Oh what fun we have
doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
(Repeat To Suit)
BLACK AND GOLD
(to the tune of Spandau Ballet’s “Gold”)
Black and Gold
BLACK BASTARDS *
(to the “Blackadder” theme tune)
Na na
Black bastards
(* AFTN would like to emphasise that black = unclean, dirty, manky mingers in this particular ditty and is in no way a racist slur before anyone from Stranraer starts)
BOYS ON THE SOCIAL
(To the tune of "Just One Of Those Songs")
Oh
COWDEN FAMILY
(to the tune of the Addams Family)
They come frae near Lochgelly
The girls all have moustaches
EVERYWHERE WE GO
Everywhere we go
FIELDS OF WELLESLEY ROAD
(To the tune of "Fields of Athenry")
(Chorus)
On a pitch down by the sea
(repeat chorus)
In the year 2003
(repeat chorus)
FIFER TOMMY
(To the tune of Liverpool's "Scouser Tommy")
Were you there when we won 3-2 at Gretna?
Oh, I, am a Methil East Fife fan
FORFAR SONG
Oh I can’t read
GHOST TOWN
(To the tune of "Ghost Town" by the Specials)
This tow-own is gonna be a ghost town
(cue lots of tarzen-esque ahs)
GRETNA CHANT
Fuck off
(Repeat To fade)
HELLO, HELLO, HOW DO YOU DO
(to the tune of “O Tanenbaum”)
Hello hello
[alternative ending:
We are East Fife
KINGS OF FIFE
We are the kings of Fife
MARY FAE METHILHILL
(to the traditional arrangement of “I Love A Lassie”)
I love a lassie
METHIL EAST FIFE F.C.
(to the traditional tune of “Wild Rover”)
I've been an East Fife fan for many a year
(Chorus)
Cos it's Methil East Fife
So keep the Old Firm
(Repeat Chorus)
MY GARDEN SHED
(to the tune of "When The Saints Come Marching In")
My garden shed
PETERHEAD SONG
(to the tune of "When The Saints Come Marching In")
Oh Peterhead
SNIFFIN’ THE GLUE
(to the tune of “Singing The Blues”)
Oh I never felt more like sniffin’ the glue
THE METHIL EAST FIFE WAY
(To the tune of "Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs" by Brian and Michael)
And they, gave us Davie Baikie and Willie Gray
TIME FLIES BY
(to the tune of Half Man, Half Biscuit’s “Time Flies By”)
Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train
Under bridges
Na na na na
(WE ALL DREAM OF) A TEAM OF JOHNNY SMARTS
(to the tune of “Yellow Submarine”)
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
Number one, is Johnny Smart
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
Number five, is Johnny Smart
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
Number nine, is Johnny Smart
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
WE ARE THE E F, THE E F F C
(nice and simple so EVERYONE can join in!!!)
We are the E F
(clap, clap, clap, clap)
(Repeat to fade)
WE HATE EVERYONE
(sadly to the tune of “Land of hope and glory”)
We hate Albion Rovers
WE HATE ROVERS
We hate Rovers and we hate Rovers
WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY
(to the tune of “Que Sera Sera”)
When I was just a little boy
Wash your mouth out son
WHOOSH - BLACK AND GOLD ARMY
(To the introduction and chorus of Kasabian's "Club Foot”)
Whoosh
(repeat to fade)
YOU ALL LIVE ON THE SHITE SIDE OF FIFE
(To the tune of Monty Pythons’ “Always Look on the bright side of life”)
You all live on
No crib for a bed
The little lord Jesus
Stood up and he said
Ooh to
Ooh to be
Ooh to be a
Fifer
Walker, Greenhill, Paul Stewart
McManus scores another one
We've got Kevin Fotheringham
Tweed & Cameron at the back
And we've got King Johnny Smart
O'Reilly, McDonald & Linton to
We're the boys from New Bayview
Cos last season it ended bad
Now we're at the top
And Methil East Fife's going up
doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo dooooo
doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
dooooo dooooo doooooooooo
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
Meeethiiiil Eeeeeast Fiiiife
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
Methil East Fife (doo doo doo doo doo)
Meeethiiiil Eeeeeast Fiiiife
Gold
We’ve got the power you know
Baikie has turned us around
We’re indestructible
Always believe in
Black and Gold
Gold
Na na na na na na
Na na
Na na na
Na na na na
Black bastards
They come from Cowdenbeath
Black bastards
Black bastards
They’re very black indeed
We're
The
Boys on the social
The boys on the dole
We're so fucking ugly
We can't get a hole
But we all go mental
When we score a goal
Cos the Bayview Boys are in town
Na, na, na
Nana na na na, nana na na na
Ooh
They havenae got a telly
They’re dirty and they’re smelly
The Cowden Family
They’ve all got nasty rashes
And nae cunt ever washes
The Cowden Family
(Everywhere we go)
People want to know
(People want to know)
Who we are
(Who we are)
Shall we tell them
(Shall we tell them)
We are the East Fife
(We are the East Fife)
We hate Dunfermline and we hate Raith Rovers
(We hate Dunfermline and we hate Raith Rovers)
Oh oh
(oh oh)
Oh ohhhh
(Oh ohhhh)
Oh oh oh East Fife
East Fife
We'd walk a million miles
For one of your goals
Oh East Fife
On a pitch on Wellesley Road
We watched the Black 'n Gold
Robert Scott scored goals for fun
Willie Broon was number one
Now there's houses on the pitch on Wellesley Road
Remember, our glory days of yore
Remember those who've worn the Black & Gold
(The Black and Gold)
We won the cup in '38, we've gone down in history
We are East Fife, Methil East Fife, Black & Gold
We've got Kenny D
He scored a barrel load
In the famous Black 'n Gold
He scored the goal to take us from Division Three
It was our centenary
We reached Division Two
Cowden Scum where are you?
You're down beside the shite where you belong
When we scored with the last kick of the ball
Were you one of the few who stayed faithful
If you are, then stand up and sing along
I'm purely black and gold
And I go fucking mental
Every time we score a goal
We'll win the League
We'll win the Cup
The double will be there
And then we'll go to Europe
And give Barca a scare
And I can’t write
But that don’t really matter
Because I come from Forfar
And I can drive a tractor
This tow-own is gonna be a ghost town
Ships don't sail no more
No more fishes in the North Sea
To The Unibond
How do you do
We are the boys from New Bayview
We hate the scum from Cowdenbeath
We are the Fifers from the East
Say
Ooh to
Ooh to be
Ooh to be a
Fifer
Top of the league
Say
We are top the league
Say we are top the league]
We are the kings of Fife
We are the kings of Fife
East Fife
A bonny bonny lassie
She’s as tight as the paper on the wall
(on the wall)
She’s got legs like a spider
I’d love to fucking ride her
Mary fae Methilhill
2, 3, 4
(repeat)
I've followed them there & I've followed them here
From Stranraer to Elgin, I've cheered the boys on
I hate the Rovers & I hate the Cowdung
Methil East Fife F.C.
We're by far the greatest team
The Kingdom's ever seen
Hibs & Hearts too
United or Dons, I'll not follow you
When Saturday comes, I'll be back at Bayview
To the Black & Gold, I will always be true
(my garden shed)
My garden shed
(my garden shed)
My garden shed is bigger than this
It's got a door
and a window
My garden shed is bigger than this
(Oh Peterhead)
Is a shit hole
(Is a shit hole)
Oh Peterhead is a shit hole
It's got a harbour and a prison
Oh Peterhead is a shit hole
When East Fife win
And the Rovers lose
Oh East Fife
You got me sniffin’ the glue
They gave us Fozzy, Cameron, Stewart and O’Reilly
With McManus,Walker and Linn
And Smart we’re going to win
And play football, the Methil East Fife way
Speeding out of Methil with a cargo of cocaine
I get high when I’m the pilot of a plane
Touching down in (insert team playing)
I am stoned out of my brain
Over bridges
To our destinay-shun
Careful with that spliff Eugene
It causes condensay-shun
Na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na
Na na
Na na na na na
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
Number two, is Johnny Smart
Number three, is Johnny Smart
Number four, is Johnny Smart
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
Number six, is Johnny Smart
Number seven, is Johnny Smart
Number eight, is Johnny Smart
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
Number ten, is Johnny Smart
Number eleven, is Johnny Smart
And all our subs are Johnny Smart
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
We all dream of a team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
A team of Johnny Smarts
The E F F C
We hate Peterhead too
(they’re shite)
We hate those bastards from Gretna
But East Fife
We love you
(all together now)
(repeat)
We hate Rovers and we hate Rovers
We hate Rovers and we hate Rovers
We are the Rovers haters
I asked my mother
What should I be?
Should I be Rovers?
Should I be Fife?
Here’s what she said to me
And go get your father’s gun
And shoot all the Rovers scum
Fife are number one
Aah aah aah aah aah aah
Black and Gold Army
Whoosh
Aah aah aah aah aah aah
Black and Gold Army
The shite
Side
Of Fife
De de
De de de de de de
(repeat to fade)
